Monday, November 23, 2009

My Life... In a Nutshell.

So the 1 person that ever reads this, knows this already, those that dont know me, may find this interesting. Others may think that its a sob fest... to those, go fuck yourselves...

But this is my life story compacted, unspellchecked, as simplistic as it gets.

Prior to my birth i had a sister, who was a year old and was killed by a doctor. My mom and dad settled out of court and got a nice hunk of money. Then they had me. my mom cheated on my dad. they divorced when i was three. Dad gave my mom the ice cream shop, the house, the car, and he took his half from my sisters death and bought a house and car.

My mom was supposed to take her half and set up a college fund for me. she sold off the apartments my dad owned, and the ice cream shop. Then when i was 15 she told me that my college fund had been spent. My mom was a huge druggie. I had seen every drug you can think of done by her. When she told me this i was a C to D student... I got into highschool my freshman year and turned my entire game around. Busted my ass. When i was 15 she kicked me out of my house. We had a huge fight and i told her that she needed to get off of drugs. I have a younger sister from my moms one night stand that i was looking over. She beat the shit out of me and told me to never come back.... This is the last time i ever spoke to her.

I moved in with my dad. Studied my ass off. Graduated from Wyandotte Magna Cum Laude with a 4.2. I got a presidential scholorship from WSU after getting rejected from U of M Ann Arbor for clerical errors on my application. I have been at WSU for 7 years now, im 147 credits complete for a 127 credit BA in Psychology because i cannot fullfill my Language requirement.

My senior year in highschool i fell in love (joke) with a girl and i was with her for 5 years. one day she decided she wanted to go on a break to make us understand how much we meant to one another and we could grow stronger together. I agreed. three days into the break she got engaged to her ex boyfriend from 5 years prior.

I took the engagement ring she never knew about that i had made from my design. Got my deposit back and the full cost of the ring and bought my own house. Never talked to the ex since i found out she got engaged. I spent the next 6 months gutting and rebuilding the house i bought making it my own.

I have been working while finishing my degree at Best buy's Geeksquad doing onsite computer repair at the district level. I have been single now for a year after having 3 terrible relationships since my huge breakup 4 years ago. I am not exagerating when i say terrible relationships. Everything from breaking into my house, to the girl getting cancer and blaming me, to even moving from here to AZ with no notice, and then cheating on me and blaming me for not moving out there with her.

So ive been single now to figure out why i find myself in these situations. Spent a good time just hanging out with friends, analyzing situations, and all out having a good fucking time.

Do to the shit i have seen with my mom, i have never done a single drug. I didnt drink till i was 22, not a drop. and after my huge breakup i got pretty bad. I ended up smoking cigarettes, and that alone is, according to me, my only downfall. I dont chastise people if they have different beliefs, but i am also incredibly strong willed. I do believe in God, but i dont force others to. I dont go to church because others think i should, i go to church when i feel i need to....

My morals are my own, my beliefs are my own. I dont feel its necessary to burden others with my beliefs. but i do expect those i hold close to me to be strong in what they believe in.

Im a psychology major, and as shitty as it sounds i live my passion. I look at everyone incredibly objectively. Everyone has a story and i love to hear it. it is what makes everyone unique. I never have and never will hold someone accountable for their past as that is what makes them who they are now. However, i do not believe that if you do not like your past you shouldnt embrace the bad parts of it and continue to keep ties to the bad areas.

I havent spoken to my mother in over 10 years and i have no ambition to. my immediate family consists of my dad and my aunt. I am the 2nd generation to be born here in the states. i am 100% Sicilian and i embrace every bit of my family. although i dont see either of them as much as i would like to.

I have quite a bit of my past that i am ashamed of, however if i had it to do over i never would, because it is what has made me every bit of the person i am. my friends are my lifeline. they have been there for me through thick and thin and i will never let anyone or anything stand in the way of them.

i am old fashioned. i always have been. opening doors for women, putting myself last before others is carved into my being, but i speak my mind and i dont care who gets offended. respect is earned and not entitled.

I am strong willed, by my beliefs are my own just as others are theirs. i dont play games, i am blunt, and i use my resources and my knowledge to my advantage. i dont believe ignorant is a bad word as we are all ignorant in its own meaning.

people who refuse to better themselves piss me off and i cant stand trend whores. i like punk music, i enjoy tasting beer in all of its aspects and i will never turn down a chance to do something that i havent done as long as it wont impede my future.

I love telling stories. All true, and i have lived an incredibly fullfilling life. I do not fear death because i live my life to its fullest. Not once have i ever regreted the things that i have said or done, however i do regret the things i havent done yet.

One quote that sums up much of how i have thought...

"Objectivity cannot be equated with mental blankness; rather, objectivity resides in recognizing your preferences and then subjecting them to especially harsh scrutiny — and also in a willingness to revise or abandon your theories when the tests fail (as they usually do)."

my life story... in a long, drunken drawn out rant....

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